viernes, 15 de julio de 2011

Carta de empresa yanki

GENIAL, me lo pasó el gran Prisco obvio:

 Nota de una empresa de USA a su personal en Argentina
   
  It has been brought to our attention by several officials visiting our office in
  Buenos Aires that offensive language is commonly used by our spanish  speaking staff.
  Such behavior, in addition to violating our policy, is highly unprofessional and
 offensive to both visitors and staff. All personnel will immediatly  adhere to the following rules:

 1. Words like carajo, la puta madre o me da en el quinto forro and other such
 expressions will not be tolerated or used for emphasis or dramatic
 effect, no matter  how heated a discussion may become.
 2. You will not say la cagó when someone makes a mistake, or lo están cagando a
 pedos if you see someone being reprimended, or qué cagada when a major  mistake has
 been made. All forms and derivations of the verb cagar are utterly innapropiate and
unacceptable in our environment.
3. No project manager, section head or administrator under any circumstances will be
referred as hijo de mil puta, guanaco, mal parido, es una mierda or es una bosta.
 4. Lack of determination will not be referred to as falta de huevos nor will persons
 who lack initiative be referred to as cagón de mierda, pelotudo or boludo.
5. Unusual or creative ideas offered by management are not to be referred as pajas
mentales or pendejadas.
6. Do not say cómo hincha las pelotas nor qué ladilla de mierda if a person is
 persistent; do not add cagó fuego, if a colleague is going through a difficult
situation. Furthermore, you must not say cagamos (refer to item #2) nor nos
rompieron el orto when a matter becomes excessively complicated.
7. When asking someone to leave you alone, you must not say andate a la concha de tu
hermana nor should you ever substitute May I help you? with ¿Qué mierda querés?
 8. Under no circumstances should you ever call your elderly industrial partners
viejos chotos.
 9. Do not say me chupa un huevo when a relevant project is presented to you, nor
 should you ever answer sobame el nabo when your assistance is required.
 10.You should never call partners as puto de mierda o vieja tortillera; the sexual
bahavior of our staff is not to be discussed in terms suchs as viejo trolo, la mira con cariño or mariquita.
11. Last but not least, after reading this note, please don´t say me la paso por el
orto. Just keep it clean and dispose of it properly.

 Thank you.

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